I've been reading Momma Zen by Karen Maezen Miller and I've been loving every minute of it. The book really spoke to me but I didn't realize how much until I reached this section:
I was unhappy a lot of the time. When I wasn't, I might be annoyed or impatient and intermittently resentful. This was obvious to everyone. My daughter could read between my furrows and inflections. She would break my troubled silences with a stunningly simple question, "Momma, are you happy now?"
Monkeyface has started asking me this question all the time. Sometimes he even walks over, kisses me and then asks me again, "You happy now?" I always answer "yes" because why would a 3 year old need to know what's on my mind? However, now I realize that yes, I can be happy now and I am blessed to have my little one to remind me. I can choose and change, and by changing my attitude, change everything. Being happy is worth everything. It is my heart's desire...It's what I want most for my child. Being healthy is great, kind is sweet, smart is convenient, but happy matters most of all.
You don't have to wait for happiness, because there's not time but now to be happy. You don't have to go somewhere else, because there's no place but here to find it. You don't have to do something else, because there's nothing more to it. You don't have to get something else, because everything you already have is enough. You just have to be happy.
Am I happy now? Yes Monkeyface, I am and I thank you for reminding me.