Hello old friend

I love autumn. It's when I feel most alive. It's when I want to be outside looking at all the colors. It's when I feel my most creative.
I read something recently that won't get out of my head.
Those nagging ideas that won’t leave us alone, the places where we feel jealous, the urges we have to create something we have no business creating, they are all there to guide us, to take us somewhere interesting.
This is one of my biggest truths. Right now my creativity has to do with activity. Normally I feel the need to create something. This year I'm feeling the need to recreate me. I want to be outside walking, jumping in big puddles, jumping out of planes. I want to create a home where I feel alive and not stifled by the things I've accumulated over the years. Things that no longer have anything to do with the person I'm becoming. Things that make me angry b/c I don't have the storage for them. Clothes that are becoming too big, art that just doesn't suit me, toys that no longer work for my child. I need to get my hands dirty & I need to plant something.
I'm ready to go somewhere interesting. I'm ready to stop being jealous and start doing.
Now if I could find somewhere to dance outside by a big 'ol bonfire, I think the hippie in me would explode.

Balsamic Black Bean Salsa

This is some of the best salsa I've ever made. It's delicious on chips and by itself. Every time I make it people ask for the recipe

Black eyed pea casserole

You should totally try this

Wow! Sitting here pondering...

I think this pretty much sums up my largest fear

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

~ Maryanne Williamson

What I believe about love.

I've been thinking a lot about love and how loving affects our lives ever since I returned from Belize.
I believe that love makes us kinder.
I am constantly doing things behind the scenes for the people I love. They may or may not know it is me but I try to bring a little magic to everyone's life. I am also trying my best to extend this to strangers. Everyone can use a smile and you never know if that is the exact moment when they needed it most. I don't ever want to say or do anything that will disappoint my husband or child.
I believe that love makes us more patient than we ever thought possible
I easily answer 100 questions per day. I don't necessarily enjoy it but I know that it helps with growth and development. I can also take a deep breath and easily ride out a tantrum or anger riddled conversation. I never knew patience until I knew the love for a child.
I believe that love makes us brilliant
My best friend is currently doing on of the most brilliant things I've ever heard about all in the name of love. We should all love so much that we are able to put aside our fears and do something brilliant.
I believe that love makes us creative
Whether it be an inexpensive date night, a creative postcard, or a sexy text, love takes creativity. It's easy to be distracted by the day to day tasks but I think it is essential to a relationship that you creatively love. I enjoy painting with my son. I enjoy listening to the jokes that my husband comes up with just so he can tell me. I enjoy creating items for others and if I actually had any follow through people would be amazed.
Love makes you an advocate
I am a judger. I can't help it. I size up every situation and proceed with caution. I judge people based on their decisions and how it affects my life. However, I am learning to keep most of my opinions to myself because everyone deserves to live the life they need to live without me constantly correcting them. I will fight for you and what you want. I will also have your back.
Love makes you a better person
Our relationships are a mirror. They reflect back to us exactly what we put into them. If you make love your choice then love is reflected back. I am a better person because of those I love.
I believe more and more every day that love makes us brave.
I did a couple of things that I consider amazing there all because I love my son and I promised myself that this year would be about moving beyond my comfort zone.

Revelation

sit down,
i have bad news.
i am not always right.
i do not always have the answers,
i can not always fix things.
i may not always know what to do.
but here is the good news: i will always try.
i will try because i want your way
to be simple.
i want your world to be safe.
i want your life to be filled with
goodness and grace.

all mothers want these things for their sons,
but mothers are not in charge.
so we fight however we can:
with our voices,
our votes,
our valor.
our ammunition
is love;
our inspiration
is you.

--jayne jaudon ferrer

Belize did something to me

It mellowed me out or something.
When the a/c died again yesterday I didn't freak out for the first time ever. I just thought...well it's no worse than being at Chaa Creek...too bad I don't have a pool. Normally I would have gotten angry & would have taken it out on my hubby. I know it's completely irrational but I hate being hot. I hate sweating and I hate feeling like I'm melting.
It really wasn't bad last night & was actually kinda refreshing to sit around with the windows open and listen to the rain.